why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The Olympian is in my bed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
