like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
