Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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