I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
