I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
