New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
