I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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