i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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