I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Can't talk, ducks in the car
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
