i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
