Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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