wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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