Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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