A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
