I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
