yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
