i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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