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I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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