Do vagina's smell?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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