I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
