Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize