Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
