you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
false alarm, still single
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
