normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
