pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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