big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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