Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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