I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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