i was born a porn star she said
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
