I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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