I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
