one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
