No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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