wakey wakey hands off snakey
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
