I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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