Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
