I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
