the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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