I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
