her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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