come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
