i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
