I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
