Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
