Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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