Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
