At least make sure they are 18
Why
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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