Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
