She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
