Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
