Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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