hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
