Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
